2018
Same same but different. Every year starts out the same, clear mind, big aspirations. A whole new lease of life. Yet here we are 1o days in and today I didn't want to do anything. I pushed myself and got ready to have a productive day, got up wen't out to do some christmas shopping (Really). When I simply did not want to be there, or anywhere, just wanting to be in bed silent from and to the world. So that's what I did, wen't home and slept. In all honesty I don't actually feel that huge sense of change on new year. Try as I might to go out and get into the spirit, I still end up walking home sober at 1 AM dreaming of my bed with no renewed sense of optimism. I find myself relieved and terrified that another year is over without my life having any purpose or direction. No way but up, or down, it could go either way really. I don't know what other people fear most, death, failure, death, drowning, spiders, etc. Mine is never finding purpose, some